All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I die, sorry about rent.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
