you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
