i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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