i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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