I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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