We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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