I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
this will be a night to untag.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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