She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
