I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
