I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
