You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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