allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
