I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
