Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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