i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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