just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
