Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
