hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
