When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
