I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You smell like stripper and shame
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
