The maid of honor just puked.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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