I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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