I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
