wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
