I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
