Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
