I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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