Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
