I'm gonna have a badass scar
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
