i permit you to call me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
