Dual....:-)
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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