I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
