you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What drink are we having for lunch?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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