the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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