And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
