i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's great music for shaving your balls
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
