OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
