I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
