Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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