that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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