i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
