so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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