he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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