it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
