my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
