she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize