just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
