It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
