I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
