Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize