So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
