Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
