did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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