anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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