At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
