i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize